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Chiron, my dearest friend.

“You saw my scars and called’em skin” is a line from a sweet tune called “Follow the Water” by Calexico. The words got stuck in my mind like a little poem. They rang of the half-god Chiron to me, and right now we are here at Autumnal Equinox facing a season that began with a Sun-Chiron opposition. This aspect is giving us an opportunity to look deeper into an archetype that deals with the broken hero-aspect of our ego. Life equals scars. We generously give them to each other when we are unaware. And we give them to ourselves by not paying attention to intention or never question where the intentions are coming from. We have to learn to live with them and learn to accept them as well.

We can all be thinking: “I will manage what hasn’t been managed before” or “my love can save him/her”, and then fall flat on our face. I sometimes think we are all suffering from a weird complex of confidence mixed with low self-esteem that we can understand through looking at the story of Icarus. Here is a quick reminder if you haven’t read it.

“Icarus and his father attempt to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax. Icarus‘ father warns him first of complacency and then of hubris, asking that he fly neither too low nor too high, so the sea’s dampness would not clog his wings nor the sun’s heat melt them”

So hubris and complacency. Taking on too much, being too brave in the face of danger or in a situation that is more than you could handle. Like the British PM, Boris Johnson, might find himself for the time being trying to “fix” the whole Brexit situation. Right now Neptune is conjunct his Chiron in Pisces, and transiting Chiron squares his Nodal axis, both working him like crazy, first catapulting him into position and then humbling him when his fabulous attempt to suspend the Parliament was blocked. Failing just like Icarus’ attempt to fly high and then had his wings melted. Maybe he has been a tad complacent about his capacity, thinking he would be a hero and save the day? Or is he trying to be someone to cover up some wounded ego? What do I know, I am just rambling, but Chiron is without doubt causing him some humiliating moments right now.

When Chiron is around we need to check in on ourselves and see what is real and what are compensations or attempts to heal earlier experiences by making it big now. Many a teased child got their revenge by becoming big when they grew up. Doesn’t mean they really felt loved. Funny how money can’t buy love. Or true self-worth. That is a healing that needs to come from an entirely different place. Without compensations.

Chiron occupies such an interesting position in the solar system as it links the outer planets to the inner planets. Traveling between Saturn and Uranus it reminds us both of our divinity (the outer planets) and our mortality (the inner planets). We can do a lot, but we can’t do all.

Hubris sometimes shows up when we get burnt out. Our bodies have a limitation to how much stress we can endure. The chart of Greta Thunberg comes to my mind. She too is deeply informed by Chiron, hosting a stellium in Capricorn, with the Sun conjunct Chiron. The world is projecting on her the savior-hero-complex, and we can also see that when these types of heroes show up, we seem to want to kill them. I wonder how much she can take from the public attention before it starts to affect her. We can be such vultures, and boy did they pop up like mushrooms this season.

Oh wait! Pluto’s on the phone: “Hey you. Sorry to inform earthlings about such matters, but this is your dark side. Yes, you guys kill what is pure and destroys truth when you hear it. Especially if it challenges your ego. Hurt people, hurt people. Power is not for the faint” 

End of transmission.

Man! Pluto is not one to debate with I guess. Trust me, I tried. It did not work out so well. And this is the issue. The outer planets have this effect on us. They churn us toward truth. Not our preferred truth, but very often the inconvenient type of truth.

Saturn is the last visible planet, but truth is not always what meets the eye. The hidden realms of life, our inside and our histories, are just as alive and real. So little wonder we are confused, and particularly so in this time with fake, real, not-so real, slightly tainted news. But we feel something and then we try to put it into words. The instinctual nature is right in front of us all the time.

Chiron is currently in Aries and we know the Ram likes to head bang. It is competing about anything actually. It is about survival. We compete for love, money and for security, and for our vanity, our pride, our survival.

The vibe of this time is not made easier by the fact that Saturn is giving the South Node a proper massage. This is the last hit of a conjunction that started end of April at 20 degrees Capricorn, continued in July at 17 degrees Capricorn and finishes off in 4 days, the 28th of September, at 13 degrees Capricorn. The Nodal Axis and Saturn have been dancing back and forth in a very structured tango. Saturn has this tendency to force us to our knees and obey. Saturn is correction. So we might muse: Correction of our instinctual nature?

But let’s go back to our current broken hero, Icarus. Icarus is all about being real, and being real is being humble enough to listen to life and ask “ok, what can I do right now and what do I have to really just accept is not on my current can-do-list”. This requires a whole new skill. Something Chiron in Aries can teach us as it teaches us about the dangers of being too driven by desire.

What happens to us when we try to work with our instinctual fears and not let them inform our actions? Is it possible at all? Aries is all about the instincts, and more often than not our instinctual reactions hurt us and others. When we get afraid we tend to overreact. What is it that scares you the most? That someone will get angry with you? Or your own anger? As Jupiter is working it’s way through Sagittarius and Saturn, the judge, is occupying the South Node, the theme of judgment also arise.

When do we judge and what does it do to us? Does our judgments create more war or do we, when we truly believe in something, believe that this is the solution to all?

A lot of judgment comes from fear, and that is more often than not the fear of not being good enough, or it masks a wounded past. When we point fingers, we get one back. Judgment can trigger guilt, and we all get super defensive when we feel blamed and guilty. None of us are saints, but the vegan who proclaims eating meat is a sin can arouse a lot of anger, and then they feel victimized because their point is valid. Yes, eating meat is challenging for the earth, but how can they get their message through without increasing the potential for war?

Today the world is increasingly polarized. Moralists pointing fingers at other moralists. Personally, I can just do a quick scan in the mirror and try to keep my own stuff in check. Hard enough work there to be quite honest.

The truth is we all have to try to understand our opposite, our enemies, our fears and what it does to us. The eternal blame games are just creating more war, it is so easy to hate those who hurt us. The Aries energy gets hurt when it feels disrespected, treated unfairly, violated or humiliated and misunderstood. Chiron in Aries is inviting us to all look at how we sometimes react violently (inside or outside) when we can’t get what we want the way we want it and we feel victimized due to this. Aries hates to lose. But with Chiron here, we all need to assess our boundaries, especially to what we expose ourselves to. Are you strong enough to take on a certain task or do you need to rest, recharge and work on yourself until you are?

Many a failure happened because we tend to start too soon, too strong, and then we don’t have energy for the whole ride. Or we got ourselves involved in a fight where we completely underestimated our opponent.

The last Cardinal sign is the Mountain Goat, Capricorn, and he packs for the entire journey, not just the start. In Capricorn we learn discipline and how to discern the size of our challenge. Keeping it real.

So if your wound is that you never made it to the goal because your resources got depleted before that happened, or you underestimated the journey and the process any journey is, you will have to forgive your past mistakes and try again. With the Sun opposing Chiron right now, any of our wounds, also in relationships, are opening up and we can see where it was we stepped wrong last time around. Where did fear take over?

With Chiron, and if I may add, Saturn, we deal with past missteps. I use to say it takes 14 days to get together and 13 years to split up. Because we start too soon, with passion and spark, but not with the endurance of the truthful flame. We never pack faith, but we fill up on hope.

Saturn says: “If something is true it will stand the test of time”. So maybe now you need to recharge your batteries, not push yourself too hard, and find balance again before you once more enter into the paradoxical life we all have to live.

This life where we have to find balance between complacency and hubris. And having experienced both, neither of these experiences should make us give up. Never take anything for granted and never trust anything too much. Pack faith in yourself. You will need it.

That is why Chiron is the pragmatic one. Organically tuned into the nature of the body and with a mind that is reaching for the stars. The balance between action and resting, between limitations and grace. Between reality and magic. The humble Hero. The teacher. Hello Chiron, my friend.

Big love, Sol

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